


Inevitable

by ev18sweetpea



Category: Jane the Virgin (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Incomplete but not abandoned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-04-27 18:20:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14431419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ev18sweetpea/pseuds/ev18sweetpea
Summary: Starts off in the immediate aftermath of the finale.Petra wants to explain, JR might let her but she isn't interested in giving her a chance she just wants her gone.Will have a happy ending because I love these two, here is what I hope happens and how they can resolve all of this mess.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have chapter 2 written, this will probably be around 5 chapters long. I'll be updating tomorrow and again on Saturday or Sunday. I hope it have it all up by next week.

JR slid to the floor, hands on her chest and eyes fixed on the person she had just shot. What the hell just happened? What the hell does she do now?

From behind her a strangled cry, "Jane," but JR doesn't answer so Petra tries again, "JR, are you okay?"

JR still doesn't answer, she just stays on her knees, her hands gripping her chest harder and her breath becoming more and more erratic by the second. 

Petra falls to her knees in front of her, cups her face, trying to make eye contact but JR squeezes her eyes shut and doubles over, her heavy breaths turning into sobs. Petra does her best to cradle her, "You're okay, we're okay." She repeats it until she is hoarse but JR never responds. 

That's how they were found an hour ago, and now, they are sitting on opposite sides of a holding cell waiting to be interviewed by the police. JR's breathing is calm now but she still hasn't said a word. She just holds herself and stares blankly ahead trying to stop her mind from racing and dragging her through every mistake she has made over and over again.

She had known, when she started to feel something for Petra, that this could only end in wreckage. She'd been down this road before. Fallen for someone when every instinct told her to run, but with Petra every time she pushed her away it only lead to her falling even deeper. 

_Why? _Why the hell had she kissed her in that parking garage? If she hadn't opened that door maybe she wouldn't be here right now, broken, with gunshot residue on her hands and scorches on her heart.__

__Doing the right thing and coming clean to Petra when she thought she saw her innocence was one thing, but why couldn't she hold the line? She knew why, Petra was intoxicating. She was stubborn but under that cold exterior there was this… this light. Every crack Petra allowed in her armor emitted that light and it just pulled JR further in. That light felt like it was healing her, she felt like she could come out of the darkness that had clouded her for the last couple of years. The total cloud of, frankly, embarrassment that she, so smart and so strong, had been taken so thoroughly advantage of and made into such a fool. Since the moment she met Petra it felt almost inevitable that they'd end up here._ _

__No. Dammit. It wasn't inevitable, this is the dumbass thinking that got her in trouble before, that got her in the mess with Jessica. Fuck it. She can't think about this now. Not when Petra is sitting across from her trying to find any way to get back in, to keep using her._ _

__Petra has tried to make eye contact but her heart breaks every time those eyes, those eyes she loves, those eyes that have always seen right through her and drawn out truths and…love dart away from her._ _

__She can see JR's mind working across the room, can only imagine what she is thinking. Petra had known of course, that lying to her like this would have been the worst thing she could do. JR had told her what she went through with her ex. The lies, the manipulation. Her lie and the way she reacted after Magda's deposition, would of course be the thing to tear everything they built down. Self-sabotage at its finest. She shakes off the thought, this isn't about her. She's gutted JR when she was at her most vulnerable. Gutted the one person that had ever made her feel…. and yet she came back… she saved her._ _

__No one has ever made Petra feel as safe as JR has. Petra always knew that any true emotion needed to be guarded, all her feelings needed to be tightly held or they may be used against her. But with JR… sharing felt as easy as breathing. It doesn't matter that she sees how affected she is by her. That she knows she holds that power over her because she is safe. Was safe._ _

__Petra had really fucked up. Now JR will never feel that safety with her ever. JR had opened up, finally let go of her last reservations and bonded with the girls… she was moving in and now… Petra chokes back a sob and notices some movement across the room in response._ _

__"Jane."_ _

__"Stop calling me that." It is sharp and it surprises Petra. She hadn't expected her to respond and she hadn't expected her tone to cut as deeply as it did._ _

__Petra's eyes fill with tears, "JR, please."_ _

__"I don't want to hear anything you have to say. I don't want to hear you say my name. I don't want you to say anything at all to me. It's done." It is cold and monotone and Petra has never heard JR sound so defeated._ _

__Petra's voice hardens. "If it is done then you should hear it all, you should hear me out and hear my side. You said you loved me, you need to listen. Then you can make decisions about how done it all is."_ _

__"You took that decision away from me when you lied to me!" JR shoots up and wails in Petra's direction, making eye contact for the first time. The amount of anger and hurt in those brown eyes nearly steals all of Petra's breath. JR is still looking at her, watching her. "Wow, you really are a great actress," she mutters angrily and looks away._ _

__"JR, please, just listen." She stands and moves toward JR who is turned away. "You don't have to talk but please just… you're right." Petra pauses, she is fully in tears now, her voice pleading, "You are right, I took away your decision. I'm so sorry but please just hear me out and I won't… I won't bother you… I'll leave you alone just," Petra moves closer to JR and JR flinches but doesn't give up any ground, "just hear me out."_ _

__JR turns to look at her, she has always been able to read her so well- or so she thought. Petra seems broken and desperate, like she doesn't know what to do. She thinks back to Petra following her on her date and how frazzled and out of control she was outside of the restaurant. Maybe it's best to let her get it all out so she really can leave her alone once and for all. Maybe if she lets her shoot this last shot, try this last manipulation, she'd let her move on and lick her wounds in peace. Find a way to put herself back together after falling for this shit again. JR's whole body tenses at that thought, bile swells in her throat and an overwhelming wave of shame hits her over and over again. She knows Petra sees it on her face, she sees Petra's face soften and sees her move forward to reach out._ _

__"Fine." She barks and sits back down, hoping to stop Petra in her tracks. She is holding on by a thread, she won't be able to handle comfort from her again. Not when she feels so unstable and completely shaken by everything that has happened tonight._ _

__Petra stops her advance to comfort JR. She sees this for what it is- she is relenting to get rid of her, to not have to deal with this. Her heart feels like a stone in her chest, so heavy at the thought that JR really never wants to see her again. That she just wants her gone. There is probably no coming back from this but she needs JR to know. She needs her to know that although she lied about what happened with her sister that the rest of it was real. JR deserves to know that._ _

__There is a bang on a bar that jolts both of them from their thoughts. "The detectives are still over at the crime scene so settle in, it's going to be a few hours." The guard disappears through the door, leaving them alone again._ _

__Petra sits down, "Okay, it looks like we are going to be here for a while. I guess I'll walk you through it from the beginning." She closes her eyes for a moment, centering herself and thinking back to when this all started._ _


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if it is proper etiquette to just post 2 chapters in one day but I wanted to share it. I can't reread it anymore so... here you go :)

"When we met, you were my lawyer. A stranger whose only job was to use every option under the law to get me out of these potential charges. So I gave you what you needed as a professional to get this job done. You earned my trust immediately since the moment you called me out on my bullshit and I just knew you were the best choice. Yes, you threw me off balance with how you walked out on me the first meeting." Petra thinks back with a smile. It was rare to find anyone that would actually stand up to her. She was surprised and intrigued by JR immediately. 

"But I respected that. I never knew that I'd feel this way about you. There was no way to know then that I'd… that I'd fall in _love _with you." She pauses and looks at her, a deep breath then, "Of course, now I know a lot of your charm at the beginning was you manipulating me so you could work against me." JR pulls a face like they have already been through this, then settles because she was wrong but then, dammit they-__

__Petra raises her hand and interrupts her thoughts, "We've already litigated this so I won't bring it up again. I know why you were working against me… and I know when it all changed."_ _

__Petra tries to meet her eyes but is denied and met with downcast eyes. Her heart clenches again but she continues, "I know because that was the day it all changed for me too." The day they found out about the mueller screw driver, the day Vinny confirmed that Magda and Anezka would make good on the threat to go after her girls. Petra feels her chest tighten at the memory. "I spent all the time since my sister died… since I charged her… feeling guilty. I knew I had reacted on instinct, that she had threatened my daughters but I never thought… I didn't think she'd fall. That she'd die." Her voice cracks, " I just wanted her to stop threatening my family."_ _

__JR looks up at her for the first time since she had started. That look in her eye, that tilt her head always does when she is trying to see Petra. To really hear her. Her voice cracking a little, "I get that, but you lied and-"_ _

__"Please, just let me finish." Petra interrupts, a soft smile on her face that she tries to hide._ _

__JR pauses, searches her face again then nods. She doesn't even know why she spoke, she is not meant to even be giving her a chance right now. This is just to get Petra to leave her alone. She notices the smile and is frustrated immediately that she had given Petra that moment. Another moment of weakness._ _

__"Just finish spinning your damn tale and be done with this." She shoots back at her._ _

__Petra stills her face, she knows JR is being defensive. She can't let her see any more slips like that. "Fine. You ready?"_ _

__JR rolls her eyes then nods her head once again, urging her to go on._ _

__"I know we spent the night when I was tipsy and emotional getting to know each other but… I was still holding on to my guilt. I felt like it was all based on this lie then. But in that stairwell… JR, I may not have walked into that room to kill my sister, but my mother meant for me to die that night. My mother, who had loosened the railing. My sister, who threatened to go after my girls, meant for us to struggle and for me to die. The threat was real. Vinny proved that they would actually get to them, It was the first time… since it all happened… that I finally believed that it really was self-defense." Petra takes a break and hugs herself around her middle. Quiet tears start to fall she bites her lip to stop herself. This isn't about her but JR has to know._ _

__While she tries to get a grip on herself she notices JR's hand twitch toward her, like she is fighting the urge to touch her again, like she did in that stairwell. A touch that grounded her and comforted her as much as it conveyed the fact that she was there. That she was on her side and that Petra wasn't alone in this anymore._ _

__Petra's heart soars a bit but doesn't allow it to show on her face. Maybe they can make it out of this, if JR can see that it all wasn't a lie. _Maybe. _____

____She takes one deep, steadying breath and continues, "I think I started falling in love with you the moment you put your hand on my knee in the stairwell." Petra pauses, her breath catches at how vulnerable she feels. But if this is her only chance she needs to tell her everything and make sure she knows._ _ _ _

____"I don't think I'd ever felt so… conflicted and so alone. I couldn't even tell what I needed to get through… or what I needed to do next to deal with this never-ending… just never-ending assault." JR moves her hands over her face, Petra can't see her expression so she just continues._ _ _ _

____"You though. You looked at me _differently _then, saw through everything and I felt like you _knew _. You put your hand on my knee and looked me in my eye and you knew what to do next. I've never had that. I'm always alone in my effort to… survive. I'm the only one that can come up with ideas to protect myself from the utter ridiculousness that is my whole damn life!" Petra stops there. Dammit, she is making this about her again._____ _ _ _

________JR runs her hands over her face again and then through her hair. Then turns to look at her, "Petra, I know about your life. I knew about it before we even met. I get that you have been manipulated and attacked from every direction but… this was your doing. You don't get a free pass to lie and manipulate me just because-"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Stop. I don't want a free pass. That's not what this is about." She nearly rolls her eyes but catches herself._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Really?" JR looks unamused, "Because you just broke down upset telling me your sob story again… while asking for me to see your side. If that isn't a manipulation I don't know what is."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"You're right, I didn't mean to go down that path. It is just… easy to talk to you. I'm off topic. I'm sorry." Petra acknowledges then implores JR to look at her, "I will try to limit it but… you need to know my state of mind."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"I know enough"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"You don't"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"And whose fault is that?!" Her voice beginning to rise._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Petra slaps her knees then gets up to pace. "This isn't going to get us anywhere if you keep interrupting."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"There is nowhere to get if you keep centering yourself in this and keep trying to gain sympathy points. I'm tired. I don't want these damn games." JR sounds firm but then looks up slowly at Petra, knowing she has given her another opening._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Petra stops pacing and squares to JR, begins to walk towards her but stops short. "I have not played games or handled you since that ridiculous double date with Jane and Raf."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________JR stands and moves into Petra's space, "Then what the _hell _was that the night of your mother's deposition?" she murmurs it but her tone is steel.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Petra tries to maintain the eye contact but the challenge is too much. She turns on her heel, and gives JR her back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________After what feels like a minute's pause, "All these months waking up with you, making dinner with the girls, meeting for lunch dates, texting and calling you every hour of the day because I just miss you that much… it has felt like a dream. A dream because I have known that I was withholding this from you and I just… I knew I'd have to wake up but I never knew… never wanted it to end."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"JR, you are the only person that has loved every part of me, even my darkness. You bring joy into my life every day just by cracking a joke or… giving that damn infuriating and completely irresistible smirk." She turns with a smile on her face but JR is still stoic, arms crossed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"You are the most nurturing person I've ever met and I can't believe how much you care for others after _everything _you have been through." Petra takes a step closer and wants to reach out for her hands but knows better than to break that barrier.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"So, there I was… falling head over heels for someone completely unexpected. This moral and honorable person who shows compassion and fierce loyalty and love even after getting burned. Something I've never really been able to do. You came into my life trying to wreck me and I just… I couldn't believe where we ended up." JR's hands fall to her sides and Petra watches the motion carefully then looks up and is taken aback to find tears there._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"That night, after my mother's deposition," Petra takes a shaky breath and her eyes begin to water again but she can't look away from JR, "I was _scared _and I… I fell back on old habits."___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________JR's eyes snap away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Petra moves to follow her eyes, "I may have pushed my sister but I'm not a murderer. I… I was so fucking hurt seeing you question me." Her voice grows a bit angry but she reminds herself this isn't for her. "I'm not saying this to hurt you… this isn't about me but you asked what the hell happened." JR looks up at Petra again to meet her gaze._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________"I was hurt that you could imagine me killing her. Imagine me murdering someone on purpose and trying to cover it up. You, the woman that I _love _and who I thought was the first person to really _see _me. Listening to you actually question me and think something like that… I just snapped. I'm not proud of it." JR reaches out a hand and Petra grabs it like a lifeline._____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Petra tries to convey her sincerity in the touch, she needs JR to know this, "I was not trying to manipulate you. I was lashing out. I had no idea you would turn yourself in. We had never even talked about that!"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Petra reaches for her other hand and JR lets her take it, "I love you, Jane. I never wanted you to get hurt just for getting close to me. I am so sorry that you did."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________JR's eyes are unreadable but she isn't moving away from the touch._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________"If you love me, why didn't you just tell me? Before Magda, before the fight? Why didn't you just _tell _me?" JR squeezes her hands then rubs her thumb over her knuckles.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Petra is still. She doesn't know the answer to this question. She has been asking herself this since the fight. Why hadn't she told her?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________"I don't know. It never seemed right. It just never… I don't know."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________"I told you that I didn't want games. If it all wasn't a manipulation just to get out of-"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Petra pulls her closer,"It wasn't! Please… I love you I just… I felt like we were on the same page. I didn't murder her, I was innocent of that. I was protecting myself, we both agreed on the basis it just… it terrified me to have to tell you the details were a lie." Petra's tears begin to fall again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________"We just seemed so far past that. Past the point where we met and you were my lawyer and I was your mark. I couldn't go back there and then what… potentially mess up everything we'd become?" Petra's shakes her head. She looks so small.  
____________________

___JR takes her in. Petra believes what she is saying. Petra never really lied or could hide how bad she was at all of this. For someone who has been married and had such serious relationships Petra really had no clue how to truly communicate. She knew this going in but coupled with the way Petra's life seems to be a magnet for big twists, twists that can steal careers, reputations, hearts… and lives. JR doesn't know if Petra sincerely loving her, even if this is the best way she knows how, is enough. JR's heart breaks at that. She loves Petra, she believes her now. She believes that she hadn't lowered all her defenses for no reason. Believes that what they had was real… but it may not be enough._ _ _

__

____________________JR pulls Petra in and hugs her, Petra sags into the contact and JR can feel her nuzzle her neck. JR takes the moment to breathe her in too._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________"I love you, Petra. But this can't work. When you didn't think you'd get the response you wanted you just… you just made the decision for both of us. You took away my choice, you took away my part in this relationship, my part in the future of… this, of _us _." JR releases her and turns away and the weight Petra had leaned into JR's embrace falls back on her shoulders, nearly bringing her to her knees.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________"JR, please," the crack in her voice nearly breaks JR. But this can't work. It won't, she can't do this._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________She turns to face Petra and then-_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Bang! The guard is back, "You are both free to go."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I wasn't thinking of doing this but it just came out. Here is some Jetra and I tried to lighten it up but it was still a bit angsty (I'm so sorry)
> 
> Next Chapter will all be basically from JR's perspective. I'm looking forward to writing that :-)

"What the hell do you mean 'free to go'?," JR exclaims as the guard ushers them out of the holding area and to a counter in the other room to collect their belongings.

JR pivots to face him, "Why have we been held for all this time if no one was going to question us again?"

He feels the agitation in her stance and quickly points a finger over at the lead detectives, who Petra and JR have come to know unfortunately well, "Ask them."

Fifteen minutes later after Petra stands shell shocked and silent next to JR while she berates them about unjust treatment no matter who it was in the room during a violent break in they finally exit the building. 

JR is still in a huff, all other emotions have been drained today. She needs to blow off this steam and get out of here and collapse into bed.

"JR." Petra speaks from her side and she turns to face her. "Can we… can we talk about this."

"Petra… I'm exhausted. Today has been a lot." JR sees Petra's shoulders sag at that. She was so distracted with her upset she didn't realize the tension of the moment was still weighing so heavily on the blonde. 

"I know but… no, you're right. Can we… can we meet tomorrow?" Petra sounds so small again, JR wants to give in, give her what she knows she needs right now but all she can do is move to her, kiss her lightly on the forehead and pull away again.

She looks back at her with a sad smile, "I need time." She furrows her brow, "Then maybe we can talk about repairing this… friendship."  
It stabs Petra, she feels a sharp pain directly in her heart but she can't show it. She can't.

"I heard what you said, I get it. I just… I'll just see you around" she lifts a hand to Petra's cheek and then gives Petra the only thing she has to offer right now- a smirk and, "Pete."

Petra turns her face and breathes a laugh that feels like it takes every last bit of air in her chest with it into JR's palm. Then she is gone. 

 

Jane sees Petra rushing the girls toward the school a few minutes late. Petra looks like shit, which is saying a lot because that woman is always flawless. Jane first notices that Petra has given up the pretense that heels are _comfortable and totally appropriate for all circumstances _and is currently wearing Ug boots with her shorts… in Miami. She is one of those women. She's also pretty sure she is wearing a blouse that in no way matches with those shorts and, Jane's eye brows shoot up, there is no makeup on her face. What the hell is going on?__

____

__

Petra waves at the girls and mutters apologies to the teacher and as she backs out of the classroom and closes the door Jane is at her back, "Hey, Petra. What's going on?"

Petra jumps so high Jane thinks she nearly sees her leave her boots behind, which would've been a blessing to be perfectly honest. 

"Jane." It is short and her hand is over her heart, still completely startled. This close, Jane can see the bags under her eyes. 

Jane reaches out to stroke her face, "What is going on here?" Petra pulls back and Jane's hand trails away then signals to Petra's entire state. 

Drawing her shoulders up, "What!? I'm fine. What are you doing here?"

Jane wants to laugh at how huffy her friend always gets when she is called out at any sign of disarray. "Geeze, I'm sorry, You just look-"

"Out with it Jane."

"You look like a mess girl. What the hell happened to you this morning?" She looks at her with her eyebrow up. 

"Well I didn't get much sleep, also, those shoes don't match your outfit either." She huffs then whirls around, "I'll see you at work, don't be late!"

 

Hours later, Jane creeps past Petra's new victim, well assistant, and finds Petra red-eyed and staring at the wall behind her desk. She remains completely unaware that she is no longer alone. 

Jane clears her throat, "Petra?"

Petra nearly falls from her chair and as she slams her hand down on the desk to catch herself the salad she had left untouched flies everywhere. When she finally stabilizes, pulling arugula out of her hair, "Why do you keep sneaking up on me?" she whines. 

Jane's first instinct is to laugh but she is taken aback by her state. She has seen Petra stressed before, she's seen her under pressure, she's seen her give birth to twins, but she has never seen Petra this strung out. 

"I'm worried about you. What's wrong? How can I help?"

Petra looks at Jane, her friend there to help her just standing there being a good person- like always. It is infuriating but also just incredibly hysterical that she wants to help and there is absolutely nothing she can do. Nothing. 

So Petra starts to laugh and Jane starts to think there is an evil triplet in the office until the laughter gives way to tears and she spills the entire story about JR to Jane. 

"it's been a week and I have all her things and she hasn't responded about getting them back… and her clothes smell like her and my bed still smells like her… her shampoo is still in my shower and I feel like I'm drowning in someone that has just… disappeared." Petra ends her story, all trace of tears gone. She just looks tired and resigned.

"So I lay in that bed and I smell her and I can't sleep. I can't sleep, all I think about is what I did and how she isn't there and what she'd be doing if she were and… I can't sleep." Petra pauses, "so stop sneaking up on me I'm just a little sleep deprived and all your popping up with wardrobe critique is not helping!"

Jane smiles, Petra is just being Petra. She can see she appreciates it but is still going to put up this dignified front. "Okay Petra, I hope you get some sleep tonight." She walks around the desk and Petra freezes as she draws close, she pulls her into a hug and brushes a light kiss on her forehead then exits with an, "I'll head down to finish my shift."

Petra feels comfort at first but it is a throwback to another forehead kiss, her last one ever, that left her shattered a week ago. "Hold my calls and cancel all my meetings, I'm going home."

 

That night, after fielding questions from the twins about whether JR would let them borrow her blouses again for a show-and-tell where the girls will be dressing up as lawyers, Petra finally tumbles into her bed. She looks to the side, to JR's side, and knows immediately that the only thing coming for her tonight will be tears. 

She hears a light knock at the same time her phone notifies her that she has a text.

Jane: Open your door. I don't want to knock loudly in case I wake the girls.

Petra scrunches her face then gets out of bed, grabs her robe, then opens the door to Jane, still in her work uniform.

"What are you doing here?" 

Jane grabs her hand and leads her to the bedroom, "Lay down."

Petra's eyebrows shoot up. "Jane, while I appreciate the attempt at a distraction like I said I'd rather go to Chu-"

"Shut up Petra and lay down right now." Jane flails her arms and gestures to the bed, pursing her lips and her eyebrows imploring Petra to obey the command. 

Petra rolls her eyes, and thinks this woman has lost her damn mind. She lets the thought show all over her face and Jane chuckles in response. 

Once Petra is laying down Jane pulls the covers around her and sits up on the edge of the bed. "I'm here to tuck you in. I will stay until you fall asleep. I will not ask any questions or let anyone know you let me help you. Now," she pauses, brushes hair away from her forehead and says, "get some rest Petra."

Petra wants to fight back, to reject this act of kindness but she just really needs it right now and Jane is willing to give it to her. She puts up a false fight for a moment then settles in, "Are you just going to stare at me? That's not especially relaxing Jane." 

"What would you like me to do? I can't really sing… oh! I can try to rap?! Oh or we can talk some more.. or-"

"Jane." Petra stops her before she has an aneurysm. Her friend is adorable but she definitely does try too hard sometimes. The thought makes her heart drop and tears nearly reach her eyes but she blinks them away. 

"Just… just play with my hair, and don't stare at me." The last part comes out in Petra's commanding cadence.

Jane smiles a tight smile, knowing she has scored a small victory. "Okay Petra, I'll play with your hair."

Petra is quiet as she feels the fingers begin to move through her locks. She focuses on them and not on all the thoughts that have been keeping her awake for a week- all of the guilt and sadness. She focuses on her friend's patterns, the way she swoops then scratches until she starts to feel sleepy. "Good night, Jane." Petra murmurs.

"Good night, Petra" Jane whispers back.


	4. Chapter 4

After leaving Petra at the station she moves along in a haze. JR isn't sure how, but she gets home, to this apartment she can't afford for much longer, she opens the window and collapses onto her bed. She thought sleep would claim her right away. The day had drained everything from her and every part of her body was begging to recharge but her mind had different ideas. Her mind kept wandering back to everything that happened that day.

She closed the door after the second bedtime song had finally appeased the twins and let the smile she held on her face finally slip away. She raced back to the bedroom where she had stored the shoes and the thoughts that took over her when she saw the heel break. 

She grabbed the heel and plopped onto the bed examining it. It had definitely been repaired and at the realization she felt her throat start to close and her heart sink into her stomach because she knew- Petra had lied. 

She lied. She lied about killing her sister. Magda was telling the truth and when she had brought it up Petra just… she gas-lit her. She made her feel like _she _was wrong for even bringing it up. She kicked her out she shut her down and sent her away. She made her feel like she was the _crazy _one, the one who was being _unreasonable _and then JR went and… oh my god.______

_____ _

_____ _

It was all a lie. JR dropped the shoes and her head fell into her hands, her breathing quickened and she felt out of control. It was all a lie and she fell for this all over again. She got up and paced the room, thinking of how everything lined up perfectly for this all to work out for Petra, how much planning this fucking woman went through to exploit JR's convictions, her feelings, just to get away with this. 

She snaps back into the moment, rolls off the bed and decides that two fingers of whiskey should get her body and mind to sleep. She goes to her bar and grabs the bottle, the one _she _gave her, and pours herself a glass. She leans against the barstool and stares into the glass.__

____

____

How did she end up here? How did she make the decision to leave after realizing it was all a manipulation then turn back and put her life on the line for this woman that didn't care enough not to lie to her without a second thought? JR has made mistakes when it comes to love her whole damn life. She loves hard and falls easily… she thought she was getting better at vetting and keeping her guard up. Apparently not. 

Apparently she hadn't learned a thing. She knew not to fall for clients. All the lines blur and it only complicates everything. Well, Jessica wasn't a client but she was her client's daughter. Elia Rodriguez had walked into her office looking to find a way to get Jessica's ex out of her life. She said he was abusive and that he was controlling all their finances and had left Jessica with nothing and no way to get out. He had threatened Elia and she had proof so she wanted to take him on for her daughter and get him out of both of their lives. 

Jessica was blonde, tall, stubborn… exactly her type. Jessica had a way with words and JR was immediately drawn in, she felt protective at once. Elia's case had been turned down by two other lawyers, JR was their last hope so she took a look. 

The case was weak and she couldn't stop feeling like there was something off, she invited Jessica over to the office to discuss the discrepancies and one thing lead to another. Jessica was sweet to JR, she went out of her way to make her feel special and JR did everything she could to help her. 

She shakes her head, trying to shake the memories of the 'good times.' She throws back the whiskey in her glass and pours another. "Forget that shit," she mutters to herself then raises her glass in a toast, "here's to remembering what that bitch was really about and to… not making this mistake again."

She takes a swig and her mind wanders to when she was in the hallway in Jessica's home she shared with her mother. To the whispering voices, "I don't understand why you always have her here, it's too risky." JR heard Elia say. 

"I need to keep her… distracted… she's almost done with the work and I can't have her getting suspicious. We'll have his money soon then I can end this." Jessica whispers back.

JR gulps the second glass down then goes to rinse it in the sink behind the bar. She scrubs the glass so hard, the water so hot, it's like she is trying to wash all of it away. 

She remembers Petra in the holding cell. Petra hadn't used her. This wasn't the same situation. Petra really did love her… she was just a fucking liar. She thought she had no more tears left but they spring up in her eyes again against her will. 

Petra was right, everything had changed in that stairwell. JR was the one lying and manipulating someone to protect herself but once she saw the evidence… the screwdriver… the way Petra seemed to be collapsing because she knew she had to stay on her guard all the time- things changed for JR too. JR was the villain in this story, that woman had not murdered her sister and she wasn't going to do it anymore. 

But she also wasn't going to get pulled in again by this stubborn, gorgeous blonde. Even if every time she looked into those blue eyes she could feel her heart rate speed up. Or if every time she provided her comfort Petra's eyes shone back with so much affection it nearly drowned her. Petra's reactions to her were so… sincere… so beautiful. It was like they fit together and were exactly what the other person needed right at the same moment.

Petra was ready to accept comfort and support, and JR craved the honesty in those eyes and her determination to figure out how to make things right. Petra didn't sit around waiting for people to solve her problems. She was an equal, she was capable, and she looked past everything JR did with the blackmailer and still showed her so much care. She even continued to help with her mother. 

Her mother, who was the only one JR had in her life after her sister had outed her to the family when she was sixteen. Her mother was the only one to stand by her side, "I love you, mija. I don't care who you love… but they better be good to you." Petra's care toward her mother touched her in ways she couldn't even express to herself. It was everything. 

So when she saw her in that parking garage she gave in… she was weak. She also wanted to know. Petra had only been with men according to her and to the file the blackmailer had given her. But there were moments she was sure the banter had a different layer to it. Moments where Petra sent an almost hungry look in her direction. JR wanted to know… so she kissed her. 

JR walks to her couch and gets herself comfortable. She can feel her head spinning from the liquor and the lack of food. Or is it from thinking about that kiss? About crossing that line with Petra?

When they did finally talk and move forward with something real, something that wasn't just confined to glances, banter, and flirting that neither would concede was _really _flirting, JR felt free in a way she hadn't in years.__

____

____

She felt free to let her guard down, to show Petra how much she affected her. To giggle in front of strangers while getting completely lost in her, in them.

She doesn't know the exact moment she fell in love with Petra. She knew she was obviously attracted to her and she enjoyed spending time with her but she can't pinpoint the moment she fell in love. Now that it was over, JR raises a hand to her chest at the thought, she tries to find the moment she fell.

Maybe it was the first time she came home late and Petra already had her favorite late night snack, popcorn and chocolate, in a bowl ready for her since she knew she skipped meals when she was busy at work?

Or when they all did finally go bowling with the whole damn family and Petra made sure JR was included? She always checked on her, and her and the girls made sure she was clued in on every inside joke. 

Maybe it was the first morning she woke up before Petra and looked down at her while she snored softly? Her heart felt like it was glowing as she took in her scent and the sound of the girls waking up and wandering the living room outside the door. That was the day her mom was going to come over for lunch and meet them. Meet her family. She had a home, a family. They had welcomed her into it. 

JR felt so _cared for _whenever she was with Petra. She didn't have to do everything on her own, Petra was there to anticipate her needs and she was happy to be there as a partner and ready to accept the same comfort and care from JR. They were a team.__

____

____

What the hell was she doing? Why did she give this all up? Because Petra was scared and she lied… once? It is sort of a big deal but… really… it was self-defense. She agrees with Petra in that. Shit, if she had been in the room and Anezka threatened the girls she would have done the same thing herself. 

JR meets her eyes in the mirror behind the bar, "She is the love of your life, she is your damn family. She is great with your mom, and… you love her kids." Her face shows the resolve she has in her tone, "She is a mess but she is _your _mess and she can't be off the hook just like that. Now she has to work. Call her now you fucking coward!"__

____

____

JR stumbles around in the dark looking for her phone. She must have left it in the bedroom. She crosses the threshold and then feels a blow to the back of her head and everything fades to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Straight out of a telenovela.


	5. Chapter 5

JR feels the headache before she even opens her eyes and thinks that she definitely can't drink on an empty stomach anymore. She moves her hand to rub her eyes but it catches and feels a pinch on her wrist. She slowly opens her eyes to see she is lying on a bed in a room that is not her own and her hands are handcuffed to the bed. A cough from beside her is the first indication she is not alone, she turns over and her mind clears from the grogginess to find her mom in another bed in the same state.

Some people take their time to wake up, it is a slow process, a few minutes of stretching and allowing eyes to adjust. JR is one of those people. She hits the snooze button, she stares at the ceiling for a few minutes just waiting for her mind to release the memory of some crazy dream and catch up to reality. But this image, the image of her mother cuffed to a bed in this unfamiliar room floors her immediately. 

"Mom!" She cries out, she knows she is okay because she heard the cough but needs to look into her eyes, to be sure that she knows she is there with her.

Aida seems to have been in a sleepy state as well until she hears her daughter's voice. She knows it is her daughter, only Jane looks at her with those pleading and kind eyes. This look of longing and love has been the only one she has seen in her daughter's eyes as of late. She used to have so much light and mischief in those eyes , a look she has only seen when the blonde girl and those twins are around. She can't remember when that changed. But there is also something different there now- fear. 

"Jane," a pause as she takes in her surroundings, "I'm here, mija. I'm here."

JR sighs, her mom is speaking, she is okay. The relief that floods her body at the fact that she is okay and that she knows who she is in the moment brings her to tears.

The room has no windows and one door. Jane looks around for any other weak points or ways out. Who the hell would have taken her? Why take her mother?

"Jane," her mother pulls her from her thoughts, "we are together. We'll make it through this. We'll get back to your family." 

JR has never been more grateful to have her mother here and lucid. Her mother here and able to provide some support even if this is a hopeless situation. She needed to find a way out of here. Was Petra being held in this building too? Was she safe? Were the twins? JR swallows her tears and meets her mother's clear eyes, "I love you, mom."

_____

"We need to talk." Rafael comes up behind Jane in The Marbella lounge. 

Jane, who had been checking on a couple dining in the lounge, grins widely, "Please let me know if you need anything," then backs away from the table and mutters, "I told you I'm not ready to talk. How else would you like me to say it. Oh I know, you want me to say it is about one thing when it is really about something entirely-"

"Jane." He interrupts her rant and places a hand gently on her back to guide her through the doors into the back. He pulls away at her look of indignation, "this isn't about us. This isn't about that. It's about JR and her mother. They're in danger." He looks pleadingly into her eyes. "Please come with me, we need to talk to Petra."

Jane doesn't want to give him anything. He had lied to her, manipulated her into feeling sorry for him and almost committed to marrying him while he kept something from her. Something huge. Every time it came down to it, Rafael shuts down and turns to lying. 

But she can't think about that right now, her friend, who she had just comforted to sleep last night, needs her, "What do you mean JR's in danger?"

_____

 

Jane hadn't told anyone about what happened with Rafael. Her family was thoroughly distracted with Xo's treatment and the fall out of her abuela's wedding. Jane didn't tell anyone that this man who looked like Michael and seemed to be him, according to the medical exams and what Rose had told them, was living in Miami in a run-down apartment a few miles away from the Villanueva house. 

There were still too many questions, too much up in the air for her to even grasp let alone be able to talk about it with her friends and family. So, in a very un-jane-like move, she had let it go. She was taking it slowly, waiting for new information before she jumped to action… although she did end up down many YouTube rabbit holes about how amnesia works and why this man, Michael, only seemed to have forgotten the years he had been away from her and nothing else. 

So when she comforted Petra last night she didn't tell her. She didn't commiserate. She just let it be about that moment and what her friend needed. It had been nice to let her mind off the hook. To not have to think of the implications of where Michael had been, where his memories went, and where the hell they went from here. 

But the time had come to start cluing people in, Sin Rostro wanted Luisa and she was determined to fuck everyone else's lives up and use every bit of leverage to achieve this. So Jane walked up to Petra's office, knocked and called out lightly, "Petra?"

Petra had been working on her laptop, her gaze snapped up at Jane and Jane immediately saw the benefit of a good night's rest. They shared a short smile and nod, the only acknowledgement of this fact, then Jane's face falls and Petra stands immediately. 

"What is it?" She makes no play to hide the concern in her voice and her eyes flick to the doorway to see Rafael coming in behind her and closing the door. 

"I got a phone call last night." Rafael says, "sit down."

 

_The phone was ringing, he looked over at the time on the microwave across the room- it said 3:30am. This should have woken him but as he was up late drinking away his sorrows over Jane still not speaking to him he simply reached over and answered the unknown number with a slurred, "Who is it?", ___

____

__

_"I have her." A voice he recognized as Rose said over the line. ___

____

____

_He jumped up out of the stool, "Who do you have? Jane?" ___

____

____

_He could hear the sinister smile in her tone, "Yes, and honestly, I'm surprised Petra hasn't had you come running to me- it's been a week. Are you on the outs with her again?" ___

____

____

_Rafael's racing heart stopped in an instant, she was bluffing, he'd seen Jane yesterday there is no way she has been gone for a week, "I don't understand why you are calling to lie to me at 3 in the morning, Jane is safe, and what the hell does this have to do with Petra?" ___

____

____

_Rose's eyes rolled, "I have Jane Ramos and her mother Aida. I needed an insurance policy in case you lied about Luisa's location. So, I'm calling to cash in." she pauses and her voice becomes more forceful, "Where is Luisa? Don't lie to me this time." ___

____

____

_Rafael's mind was racing, "Why? Why JR?" ___

____

____

_He hears voices in the background and a quick, "I'll be in touch," then the line goes dead. ___

____

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__

__

 

"I went down to the station to report it, they confirmed that JR has been missing since the morning after the attack in your suite."

"What!?" Petra jumps out of her chair, all the shock at Rafael's tale of the phone call swept away in a panic. "No one has contacted me. They haven't even asked…" 

Petra's whole body feels like it is moving in ten different directions. It wants to collapse at the thought of JR being in trouble, to run to find her, to scream at these damn cops for not telling her… the last feeling wins out since it may get her closer to getting JR back.

"Rafael, go see Sin Rostro, find out why the hell she has her. I'm going to the station to find out why the hell I haven't been notified and what the hell they are doing to get her back." 

"What about me?" Jane murmurs, she really was just there for emotional support. 

"Go with Rafael and make sure he doesn't say anything stupid that will get JR and Aida… Just make sure he doesn't say anything stupid." Petra is all business, she will have time to fall apart later, right now she needs to get them back. 

________

Hours later, the three are regrouping in Petra's suite. The kids are all off having a day with Rogelio, he has beefed up security in his home to make sure they are all safe. Things are getting out of hand, as usual. 

Rafael hadn't spoken a word since they left Rose. He couldn't believe it could he? It could all be another bluff but the age makes sense, and the records from the orphanage were in the storage locker Rose had sent him to. Rose really had given him everything he was looking for while simultaneously destroying everything he had. Well, his lie had destroyed everything he had. He should have just told Jane. Let her go through all of this, been there for her, and trusted in what they had together. But he hadn't so here he was.

Jane was too good of a person to ignore the revelation even if she was furious with him. Riding to The Marbella to meet up with Petra she reached over and covered Rafael's hand with her own, "We'll get them back. We'll protect them."

"But Luisa-"

"All of them." Jane squeezes his hand and gives the most confident look she can muster.

Rafael sits down on the sofa in Petra's suite, Jane sits next to him for support as he finally whispers through teary eyes, "Aida… is my mother. JR is my sister. That's why she took them. Someone else to hold on to, something to incentivize me to give up Luisa if I lied to get-"

"Michael," Jane says it with a stone cold face. "You gave her a fake location for Luisa…. to get Michael back?"

Rafael nods, "I couldn't give her up. She seemed so happy and so done with Rose. I just…" He looks over at Petra, "I'm so sorry, I had no idea about JR, I didn't know she would do this."

Petra is still looking at Jane her head spinning at the revelation and what it could mean, "What do you mean Michael?"

Jane explains the events of that night while Petra tries to tie everything together in her mind. "Jane, you can't trust him. You need to stay away." It is forceful and throws Jane back. 

"Listen, we are friend's but you can't tell me how to deal with this Petra. You have no idea what he has been through or where he was."

Petra looks down, "I have some idea." Jane jumps to her feet at that.

"What the hell are you-"

"The attacker JR shot was Michael." Petra says it pleading for Jane to stop her rant. She can't have her friend yelling and looking at her like that, not after everything they'd been to each other in the last few days. 

"Well, someone who looked like Michael." Petra continues and explains what the cops had told her and JR the night of the shooting. JR had yelled at them and they had kept them in the dark only to let them go. They had seen Michael, dead on the floor where JR had shot him, but after the women had been taken from the scene they discovered it was some random Sin Rostro lackey in a mask. 

"I didn't tell you because it wasn't him. I didn't want to bring all of that up for you again." Petra stands and reaches out to Jane, holds her hand, "I'm sorry I didn't, I didn't know he was… he was back. You can't trust him, he has to be working with them. He has to be…"

The silence that settles in the room seems to drown each of them in their own thoughts. Petra thinks she knows enough to get past all this bullshit explaining and now she needs to get moving to save JR and her mother and… also Luisa. Rafael tries but can't stop the small bubble of hope that maybe this isn't Michael after all and feels immediately sick at the thought. Jane stands there releasing deep breaths and trying to make sense of what to do next.

Rafael puts a hand on Jane's shoulder and she snaps out of it. "No." she shouts as she moves away from both of them to pace. "Okay, I'll let the cops know where Michael is and they can deal with him. Rafael, you are not selling out your sister to get back JR and Aida. Rose gave us 48 hours, we will clue in the cops and figure out something-"

"No." Petra shouts even louder than Jane had. "We can't trust the cops, they knew that JR was at risk and they still released us. The attacker dressed as Michael had her picture in his pocket. Someone in that department is working for Sin Rostro and the others didn’t trust me enough to tell me she was even missing. No cops, Jane." 

Petra can't let them all get Villanueva-ed. Not when JR and Aida's lives are at risk. She doesn't even know if JR will want to see her after this is all over but dammit she is going to save her and give her the chance to ignore her if she really wants to. She is conflicted at the feeling of relief that JR really hadn't shut her out all this week. She shouldn't feel relief at that, and yet her broken heart was apparently clinging to that last bit of hope. That this relationship could be salvaged. That it isn't really over. That she could prove to her that she can love her in all the ways she deserves to be loved. 

But first she needs to be back and safe and able to make those decisions on her own.

"I agree with Petra." Says Rafael softly.

"Of course you do." The anger laced in that sentence even shocks Petra. What the hell is going on with these two?

"I have a plan." Petra interrupts the silent conversation Jane and Rafael were having with their glowers. 

"Of course you do." Jane repeats, it is resigned and the anger seems to have dissolved a bit into hopelessness. Here she goes falling into another Petra and Rafael scheme. What could go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was hard to write. I wanted to put all my theories in but not make it seem too much like an info dump. I hope I was able to give you the insight into what I'm thinking these characters are going through. Please share any criticism or advice! Thank you for reading :-)


End file.
